In the words of P!nk: “I WILL BE PRETTY!”
A pivotal characteristic in today’s society is to be attractive (supposedly). Social media accounts spamming #relationshipgoals with drop dead gorgeous couples posing in the cutest situations, or unrealistic makeup tutorials that use a lot of filters, which make the apparent life goal of being attractive, ten times harder. But why is being attractive important and what exactly does ‘attractive’ mean?
My look is labelled ‘unconventional’. I’m the girl who wears stripy tights and shoes brighter than my future. My make up is adventurous (to say the least), from bold lips to blue mascara. In a nutshell (although I’m allergic to nuts so how about a sea shell?), I’m unique and have a very individual sense of style. Why am I telling you this? Well, seemingly all these different things that make me ‘me’ are considered ‘unattractive’.
Yep, I’m sorry to all you readers looking for #goals here, I’m afraid I’m ‘unattractive’! I have been told numerous times that I need to ‘dim down’ my looks if I want a fella. But why should I change myself? And what exactly is classed as attractive? Well I’m here to find out what exactly makes one attractive to others, and what the secret is to being ‘attractive’.
Lets start by defining the word, the dictionary definition claims that the word attractive refers to something that is pleasing/appealing to the senses or sexually alluring (swallowing that dictionary really was worth it!). So attractiveness is mainly concerned with how aesthetically pleasing we are to others (I guess my stripy tights are not too appealing to the eye). Urban dictionary expands this definition by stating “attractive” suggests ‘something or someone which is very appealing and you wish you could have it’. All the definitions point to the idea that attractiveness determines whether something is pretty to look at. In other words, they are as useful as a chocolate teapot. We all have different opinions on what is pleasing to the eye, even down to our favourite colours (mine changes from purple to pink if you’re wondering), which makes it difficult to create a specific image of an ‘attractive human’.
Back to the drawing board we go, I began to research what qualities make us humans attractive (and oh my, be prepared for some odd qualities). There are multiple articles that are a simple Google search away based on ‘The Science of Attractiveness”. This throws up elements such as: bone structure, facial symmetry. Apparently definitive bone structure and a symmetrical face, and in some ways I can understand this, I myself am partial to a defined jaw line, but some of these elements seem hard to achieve. One article (17 Most Attractive Physical traits According to Science) even states that we should look average! Now that opens a whole new can of worms that I don’t want to get into.
I don’t know about you (no, I’m not feeling 22) but I’m confused. Social media seems to push us towards looking like a glamour model, but we are also told that looking average is the way forward? Lets look into the traits that, the Internet claims, make women attractive. I was a little shocked by some of the advice available to young women. One article stood out to me: ‘What Makes a Woman Attractive to a Man? 10 tips From a Guy’s Perspective’, lets see what fellas are looking for. “Make an effort, looking nice will get a guy’s attention”, I’m all for looking nice on a first date or if I’m going somewhere special, but ladies and gentleman, I’ll let you into a little secret. When I do my make up or pick out an outfit, I don’t always consider whether it’s grabbing a guy’s attention. I do my make up and dress the way I do for me. Selfish I know, but the most important thing about my look is whether I feel confident, and if I feel good, not if the guy sipping his Starbucks has done a double take at me (#notsponsored).
Another tip from the ‘helpful’ article I mentioned before, is to be a ‘girly girl’ (sigh). Ladies you should not have to ditch the ‘Tomboy’ look to be considered attractive. Style is an individual’s expression, clothes should scream out “THIS IS ME!” and if someone doesn’t like it, oh well. Just remember they aren’t the only person on this earth, as long as you’re happy and confident, who cares surely that’s more attractive! One of my style icons is Lottie Tomlinson. In an interview recently with Adidas, she claimed that she couldn’t live without tracksuits and joggers. She explained that casual wear could be made to fit every occasion; she centres her styles on comfort, which I love! I’m pretty sure she isn’t concerned that her tomboy look is apparently unattractive!
Before this article made me too frustrated, I read another tip: “be a damsel in distress”. And at this point I clicked off the article. Other articles such as ‘9 Scientifically Proven Ways Women Can Be More Attractive To Men’ list other qualities like long hair (oops just cut most of mine off) and a soft voice (does a northern accent count?). Both these articles are directed towards what men want/consider attractive in a woman. Which, if you consider the list: symmetrical face, definitive bone structure, soft voice, long hair, dressing to impress, make up on fleek, and of course being a damsel in distress is a difficult (unrealistic) goal to achieve.
In all honesty, I don’t really consider whether the male population think I’m attractive. Going off these articles I’m unattractive, I have short purple hair, a thick northern accent, and I hate being a damsel in distress! I think attractiveness is like a cup of tea (bear with me). I love my tea milky (like literally a dash of tea with my hot milk), but my Nan prefers her tea on the stronger side, and my mum prefers chai tea (coz she’s fancy). What I’m trying to get at is that we all prefer different things, whether its tea or coffee, long or short hair. My aim everyday is to be myself. The way I dress, the colour and style of my hair, and the style of my make up all represent me. And I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but I love it and it makes me feel confident. One day I’ll find someone who appreciates me for me, but for now I’ll be over here applying my blue mascara.
Girl Prob Blog
The English Dictionary
Urban Dictionary definition
17 most Attractive Traits (According to Science) – Ludovic
9 Scientifically Proven Ways Women Can Be More Attractive To Men –
What Makes a Woman Attractive To A Man? 10 Top Tips From A Guy’s Perspective –
Interview: Lottie Tomlinson Meets Grazia
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